˚°¤☆The colour of the future ☆¤°˚

I'll be turning 22 tomorrow. While I'm writing this, I'm going to try to not be pessimistic and criticize myself for my mistakes over the past 22 years.  Mistakes have been made, but I do have a great life, with my family and friends supporting me.
What's done is done, right? And all I can do is try to be a better person from now on. I don't know if I've really changed much from last year. Maybe, I've grown up a little more and I'm thinking of things outside my own little bubble. Though, it's a bubble I'm not ready to leave yet.

I guess four years ago, I thought I'd be graduating by now, and, either going to graduate school or finding a job. Well, I'm not doing a lot of things that I thought I would be doing by now, but I don't think I'm in a bad place right now. I could possibly be going to Japan or I could have one last year at university and really prepare myself to get out into the real world, and figure out what I want to do. Because it feels like I'm wasting away my life doing nothing worthwhile each day.

Maybe I should set a goal for myself, to accomplish something, even if it's a tiny thing, just so I can feel good about myself lol. I actually wrote some stuff down after I finished my exams, like I'll do 5 kanji a day, or I'll study 4 french verbs a day. Yeah, didn't really do that, mostly because it bored me I guess?

Haha, so I'm going to keep thinking and see where that goes.

It's been a while! Haha I don't know why I haven't posted here! Guess it's just been a little busy.
Anyways, today is the Ontario Speech Contest in which I'm representing my university!
I woke up about 15 minutes before my alarm because of a weird, somewhat foreshadowing dream about today. Well, I had 2 actually.

In the first one, I went and did my speech, then I left my seat and went home. Then, I was playing with my brother, when I look at the time. It's 6:15, and they're apparently supposed to announce the results at 6:30, and I was freaking out that I wasn't there! If I wasn't at the place when they announce results, then I'm disqualified! So I cried because I probably lost.

My second dream was less dramatic. At the beginning of my speech, I ask a couple of questions. So when I asked them, people in the audience started answering them, which is a bad thing because it kept throwing me off! And the whole thing is being timed so I dreamed that I went over and got penalized ! And it was all because of the stupid audience! :(

Well, even though it's only 8:30, I still have a lot of stuff to do before going to contest place, so I should get ready now!

I can totally do it and win today!! I'll be confident and speak clearly and not get nervous! I just have to remember how hard I worked at this! :D

I'm such a lazy bum...

I really don't want to study... I have 2  exams.. On wed and Fri... and I just don't want to study... and there's a couple of overdue assignments which I have to send in soon before the exam... ><

Lol, I should be working my ass off right now but yet I'm camly watching Himitsu no Arashi-chan..! I seriously suck.. I left EVERYTHING to the last minute! I haven't even finished reading parts of the book for one course... and I have less than 5 days to go! ><

Ahh.. I really want it to be over! I really can't wait for the holidays! I can finally get back to my hobbies! I've picked up a few more that I want to try, but I promised myself I wouldn't start until exams are done! It's sad really. I can have an unbreakable concentration when it comes to my hobbies, like for hours and hours... but I can't handle reading my textbook for 1 hour! How am I going to survive in this world...? ;_;

Whatever... This is just something I have to do! It doesn't matter if I don't like it! I just have to get it over with and get on with my life! I can't afford to fail here! Which means... to be fully focused, my laptop needs to go away for the next week! Well after I email all my assignments in.. which will be TOMORROW NIGHT!

I WILL DO IT
I WILL DO IT
I WILL DO IT
I WILL DO IT
I WILL DO IT
I WILL DO IT

Ok, that got my fired up a little! I think I might just repeat that in my head next week lol

Not going to be doing anything tonight... so I might as well get some rest -_-