I finished my last exam on Wednesday. It's an understatement  to say it didn't go well. But, I've become strangely resistant to that feeling now, and it's worrying.

I knew how important it was that I did well, but I still didn't put in the effort. Others can say that you worked hard, but I'm the only one who knows, right? I did work hard, but at the same time, I also lost my motivation, so in the end it would probably not be seen as hard work.

The one thing I wanted the most, the one thing that I honestly had been 100% sure that I would be able to get at the beginning of this year, was destroyed by me.

Still, there is a slight chance, however tiny it may be. I am safe for now, but, if I sabotage myself again, then I won't be able to go. So, I can't fool around in the summer.

I have a lot of fears and uncertainties going through my mind right now, about which I want to talk to someone. I don't think it'll help, seeing as they can only offer either comforting words or false hope. Also, I'm afraid that once I voice them out, they will become real, and it won't be as easy to pass off as me over-thinking something.

I had a lot of fun yesterday~! I met other people going to Japan, and one of them is going to the same university! And I also met a girl who returned from the university that I'm going to attend! I got a lot of my questions answered, and also learned that it's not going to be a complete breeze, suddenly living in a different country!

As nervous and excited as I am, I really can't research and think about this right now! I have 2 more exams to get through (where I need to get excellent grades) to pull up my GPA! And then I can do whatever preparations I want for Japan without feeling guilty!

Why am I even on my blog? I don't know.. I'm going back to studying! I have 4 chapters of math to go through before Sunday!! And why do I have a Sunday exam in the first place?! It's my 2nd year in a row having a Sunday one.. >.<

Here's an excellent Harry Potter Medley that I'm listening to on repeat!

Tomorrow's the pre-departure training for the exchange! It's going to be all day, from 8:15 AM - 5:30 PM! What are we going to be doing for the whole day? :o

I'm really excited to meet other people who are going to Japan! My friend from my Japanese class is going to a different university, but she's going to be in Tokyo too! Ahh I'm so excited and scared at the same time!

So before I go to the training, I'm supposed to fill out this host country questionnaire, and it has a lot of different types of questions about the culture, background, health, safety and academics of Japan. So while researching, I came across a lot of racism directed towards foreigners, and I'm wondering if a lot of people are going to react like that. I have meet some exchange students who came here, and they are the sweetest bunch of people I have met, so obviously, I can't generalize something like that!

Anyways, I finally finished that tedious questionnaire! I learned a lot of stuff actually. I don't think I would have thought to check all this stuff on my own!

Time to sleep, and then wake up in about 5 hours so I can catch my bus! >_<

I woke up pretty early for a Sunday~! I have to finish my part of the math assignment by tomorrow, so I'm doing it all now. However, I underestimated how long it will take me to do it because these formulas are a little hard to understand. And I hit an unexpected bump yesterday which had me in fit of panic.

I didn't buy the current version of my math textbook because it was like $120, and I just bought the previous version from someone, which was $25. As I started to do my assignment yesterday, I noticed that my previous edition book didn't have a Chapter 9. I thought that was a mistake, since the assignment was clearly on Chapter 9. So I looked up the Table of Contents of the new book, and there was a Chapter 9.

I have a tendency to not notice tiny things like that. And look how it came to bite me in the butt. A large part of the exam will be based on this chapter too, and I don't have it! Not to mention, I won't be able to finish the assignment! There was no time to borrow it from someone either. So I ended up finding an online version which  was about $70 cheaper than the bookstore, and I figured this I don't really have much of a choice, so I ended up buying it.

About this blog

I'm A~
24 years old
I just wanted a blog to post random stuff~